It’s been a few days now since the full moon in Leo mix and I think I really needed to take this time to decompress and reflect on this journey’s challenges and how I’m handling the pressures of a long term creative commitment. I wish I could report that it’s all sunshine and rainbows over here but I’d be lying. It’s been tough to balance all of the aspects in my life, not to mention the numerous challenges that have emerged from this ongoing pandemic. It’s so easy to find yourself feeling overwhelmed, uninspired and creatively drained. I’m sure I could go on a little rant here about feeling disconnected, trapped and withdrawn from so many of the activities that make a winter in Canada more bearable but we’re all going through this to some degree so I’ll save you the pity party and focus on my reflection.
This was by far the most challenging of the mixes that I’ve done to date. It wasn’t that I didn’t connect to Leo energy. It’s quite the opposite actually. My sun sign is in Leo so I was actually looking forward to getting to this mix. I think that somewhere along the line I misplaced my genuine excitement for the process that this project requires and it was turned into a task on a list. I wasn’t giving myself the proper time to really dig in and do all of the mental prep work that these mixes require. I was just getting through it instead of actively experiencing it. I will say that there hasn’t been a single mix that didn’t move me or teach me something. They’ve all been a part of me. It hasn’t been as simple as just learning about each of the Zodiac signs and creating a soundtrack. No, I’ve had to really dig deep and go inside the learning process for some of these. Uncovering aspects of myself was the answer to understanding the signs better. I’m thankful for this. It’s been a gift and I just needed to be reminded of that.
Outside of all that, there was also a strange air around this Leo full moon. It felt conflicted, strained and full of confusion. Simple tasks that should have just been second nature were laboured and challenging. Decision making was laden with doubt and apprehension. For the first time in the mix series I wasn’t able to complete the mix by the moons crest time. In fact I think I was almost 6 hours past the deadline and I know that weighed heavy on my mind as I fumbled to finish up the project and get it launched. Amaris talked a bit about the challenge of this Leo full moon in her opening meditation and I really feel like it hit home for me. What I thought would be my advantage on this mix ( Leo is my sun sign ) may have actually just made it a bigger challenge for me to overcome. But, as she also mentioned…”great insight can be extracted from uncomfortable situations.”
I’ll say that this mix has been one of illumination for me. It’s highlighted areas of my life that I needed to shine more light into to allow them to fully bloom. For all of my worries and doubts, I’m thrilled with the mix itself now that it’s completed and I’ve been able to enjoy the journey of it. I’ve taken it on a few daily walks and it shares the same drive as the Aries mix but with more heart and creativity. It’s full of passion, expression and playfulness and it never ceases to keep a steady, confident strut in my step.
Much love as always ♥ – Zephrÿm